Everyone Is Behaving As If It's A Monday
After my first business phone call this morning I should have realized the mood of the day and put off other calls until tomorrow.
I want to yell, "You guys all suck!" - But who would care?
Yesterday, the real Monday, was Clint Eastwood's birthday. One of my heroes as a child.
Clint was the subject of a recent special on Turner Classic Movies. In it he discussed a personality trait he personally seems to lack, but has been found in at least one of the characters he's portrayed:
Fear of success.
Our cable company has been bought by another cable company. I called to pay my final bill and disconnect the cable for summer and was told I should send the money to my old company, but that the new company has to handle the disconnect. When I called the new company the man who answered did not know his company had bought the old company and knew nothing of handling my disconnect procedure. I called my old company back and was told... You get the picture.
I've always marveled at when people get to work with their childhood heroes.
To play side by side in the NFL with a player you idolized as a child. To have your band open for the band whose albums you grew up listening to in your room Sunday afternoons, or have your screenplay directed by the the man whose films inspired your own Super-8 weekend wonders.
When I was younger I never believed I'd be able to act next to, or play music with some performer I idolized. I used to think it was because they had come along before me and were from an era I couldn't belong to.
Later I realized that many people, both my age and younger, have gone on to act alongside of, or play music or sports with these same childhood heroes.
The reason now seems more that I didn't believe in myself enough at the time.
My health insurance company billed me for a retro-active rate increase. I don't believe in retro-active rate increases, because the price agreed upon should stay the price. If you want to raise the price, do it on your next billing, but don't go back and tell the customer who bought a television set for $200, that because they are now selling for $295 that customer owes you another $95... As you can guess, my argument fell on deaf ears. I took it to the state level where the company is based, a loophole was found by that state to turf my complaint back to the state I live in, and today I received a letter basically telling me what I already knew everyone would tell me... And you know what that is.
When Clint was discussing the fear of success, or self-destructiveness, that some of us exhibit more than others, he mentioned that often these people are very capable and talented, but when they have their big shot they sabotage themselves rather than possibly fail.
My mom recently said something to me along the same lines. That when I get close to success in an endeavor I almost sabotage it, as if I don't think I deserve it.
To hear it twice in one week. Once from mom, and the other from Josey Wales.
My motorcycle insurance company has also billed me for retro-active rate increases, saying they will cancel my insurance if I don't pay soon. I'm glad my planned trip through Canada has been delayed, because I should have been on the road by now. That would have been unpleasant to be traveling in Canada and require my insurance for some reason, only to find it had been canceled while I was on the road. Funny, in their TV ads they seem so cheerfully helpful... You know the ones.
Success is part preparation, ability, and luck.
Without the luck portion Clint Eastwood might never have become the icon he is, and without the buoyancy that such success provides might not exude the tremendous self-confidence he portrays.
But positive actions breed positive reactions. Positive words and thought breed the same.
Somewhere along the line I must have contributed to shooting myself in the foot a time or two.
On Sunday morning I received a phone call that my credit card had recently been compromised. The credit card company handled it well, I destroyed the card, and a new one is on the way. But it is my one and only card...
... Today I realized a motorcycle supply company I had placed an order with using that one and only credit card, had only billed me for part of my order, and told me they wouldn't ship the remaining part of the order until I paid in full. For fear of my package not arriving in time for my road-trip I worked out a payment option, but wanted badly to wonder aloud why they didn't just collect on the full bill when I ordered the item to begin with and how I might have been stuck without my precious motorcycle luggage because some asshole stole my credit card information and if I had gotten in an accident on this road trip I could get neither my bike or body repaired as both my motorcycle and health insurance had been canceled because they wanted to retro-bill me an extra $95 for a television!
If I had wondered all that aloud, I might have been shooting myself in the foot...
Clint is only eighty.
He looked pretty damn good actually. Good enough to continue making movies. Maybe even make a movie from the script I am determined to get onto his desk.
My goals have found their reset button...
No more foot-shooting, get my script to my childhood hero, continue with my motorcycle trip...
Luggage racks, or no luggage racks.
That's the point of a motorcycle. Freedom from baggage.
And how can a person with fear-of-success-baggage ride a motorcycle anyway?
"Uh-oh, I might successfully navigate this decreasing-radius corner, don't want to do that."
Yes, you do want to successfully navigate that corner. Don't feed yourself to the pavement just because you think it's inevitable.
Pull over a moment.
Then get back on and relax.
It ain't over til it's over.